Parent child relationships are the foundation for which all future relationships are formed. In looking at the parent child relationships in Beloved and in one other text we have read this year, I want you to compare and contrast them and then explain what is revealed through these relationships.
Ex: Compare/contrast Hamlet and Gertrude to Sethe and Beloved.
Explain the relationship between Hamlet and his mother.
Explain the relationship between Sethe and Beloved.
Then explain what both relationships reveal about this idea. Be sure to keep the entire text in mind when forming your deductions and in coming to conclusion. Please have textual evidence to support your thinking.
The absence of guidance in the beginning of life inhibits growth in both the parent, child, and their relationship. In the novels Beloved and As I Lay Dying, the parent-child relationships reflect this idea in more ways than one. In Beloved, Sethe’s friend Ella had a child produced from a rape, but still feels guilty for neglecting the child when it came. This circumstance of a child being ignored by its parent is written all over Anse in As I Lay Dying, specifically with his young boy, Vardaman. Though the backgrounds of these parent-child relationships are far from the same, the neglect and isolation felt by the child negatively affects both the offspring and parent. The relationships between Ella and her child and Anse and his son exhibit how ignoring a child opens the door to a world of pain; the parent has the potential to be left with deep, long-lasting remorse, and the child is left misled and isolated.
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ReplyDeletePART TWO:
ReplyDeleteWithout a parent-child bond and effort toward a healthy relationship, guilt, confusion, and loneliness take over. Ella in Beloved experiences strong feelings of shame and guilt upon thinking about her past mistake, neglecting her child back when she was still a slave. This past mistake is revealed: “Ella had been beaten every way but down. She remembered the bottom teeth she had lost to the brake and the scars from the bell were thick as rope around her waist. She had delivered, but would not nurse, a hairy white thing, fathered by ‘the lowest yet.’...The idea of that pup coming back to whip her too set her jaw working, and then Ella hollered” (Morrison 305). Ella remembers the pain of her master’s whip just the same as the pain of her little, neglected “pup,” illustrating the struggle she still has coming to terms with the way she isolated her own daughter. Anse, though for different reasons, ignores his own Vardaman as well. Tull observes, “Anse calls him without looking around. ‘You clean that fish,’ Anse says. Vardaman stops. ‘Why can’t Dewey Dell clean it?’ he says… ‘You clean it,’ Anse says. He don’t look around. Vardaman comes back and picks up the fish. It slides out of his hands, smearing wet dirt onto him...Vardaman cusses it” (Faulkner 16). Anse, incredibly selfish and lazy, forces his clearly mentally challenged son into doing impersonal tasks, rather than teaching or helping Vardaman in any way. This, unfortunately, leaves Vardaman to struggle through the complexity of his life, without the right guidance to clear up his confusion. He even accidentally bores holes in his dead mother’s face: “When they taken the lid off they found that two of them had bored on into her face” (Faulkner 20). With Anse guiding Vardaman rather than neglecting him, the young boy would not have done something so accidentally horrifying to his own mother. However, Anse’s choice of neglect leads to Vardaman’s loneliness and confusion. This negative impact not only occurs to the child in poor parent-child relationships. In Beloved, it also affects Ella, the mother, poorly. Though Ella could not disagree with Sethe’s infanticide more, she continues to support Sethe toward the end of the novel because she feels empathy rooting from her own remorse. When Sethe got out of jail, Ella “junked her and wouldn’t give her the time of day,” which emphasizes how strongly she felt Sethe was in the wrong when killing Beloved (Morrison 302). However, the shameful memories of neglecting her child fuel Ella to change her mind. Morrison explains, “Whatever Sethe had done, Ella didn’t like the idea of past errors taking possession of the present. Sethe’s crime was staggering and ...but she could not countenance the possibility of sin moving on in the house, unleashed and sassy...the past something to leave behind. And if it didn’t stay behind, well, you might have to stomp it out” (302). Ella is willing to help Sethe with the march at the end of the novel, despite Sethe’s controversial actions, simply because of the neverending guilt she still feels for the painful isolation of her child. Ella and Vardaman experience confusion and loneliness alike, due to the painful impacts of absent parent-child relationships.
Through Ella in Beloved and Vardaman in As I Lay Dying, it can be seen that when a parent neglects its own child, both parties feel pain. The parent may feel shame, even years down the line, while the child is left without proper care to grow. Whether it roots from pure laziness or a difficult situation, parental neglect of a child is unacceptable and results in suffering.
The relationship between Addie and Jewel, in the novel As I Lay Dying, differs greatly from the relationship between Sethe and Beloved. Addie has Jewel out of wedlock, which she believes is her freedom. Because of this, she refers to Jewel as her “savior” (Faulkner 92) and shows more affection to him than her other children. Addie believes that she owes Anse children, so she is not able to have a deep connection with Dewey Dell, Vardaman, or any of her other children. Jewel is very obviously her favorite child and she offers him all of her love. In Beloved, Sethe’s relationship Beloved can be seen as unhealthy. Sethe becomes obsessed with Beloved to the point where she squanders all of her savings on brightly colored clothes for Beloved. As a result of this, Sethe and Denver are both “looking for a job” (Morrison 312). Many of the women in the town become concerned with Sethe’s obsession with Beloved and they confront her about it. This causes Beloved to vanish and allows life to return to normal without Beloved haunting 124.
ReplyDeleteAddie and Sethe have strong feelings of guilt throughout both novels. Addie’s guilt comes from her affair because she knew it was wrong, but she loves Jewel more than her other children. Even though Jewel represented what she wanted her life to look like, she cannot help but feel guilty. She does not know how to love her other children as well as she loves Jewel. Sethe’s guilt comes from killing her child. She comments that, “Beloved, she my daughter. She mine. See. She come back to me of her own free will and I don’t have to explain a thing…” (Morrison 236). Sethe believes that Beloved is the child that she killed many years before. She sees this as a second chance for her and her daughter. However, Sethe’s guilt spirals out of control as she spends all of her money on things that will make Beloved happy. These two relationships reveal that although each mother had flaws, they tried to love their children the best they could. Addie truly loves all of her children, but she does not know how to show this to Anse’s children. Sethe loved her children and did not want them to grow up in slavery like she did. Her solution is to kill them before they can become slaves. Although this is a very permanent solution, it is what Sethe thinks is best for her children. Essentially, humans are not perfect, so they cannot show love perfectly either.
Within As I Lay Dying the parental influences and roles are practically absent from the text. This blatantly contrasts a parental role within Beloved. A standout within As I Lay Dying was the connection between Addie and Dewey Dell, Addie had an influence upon her that can be interpreted as a strongly negative one, she helps her mold into the stereotype that removes her humanity. To exclaim against the mold her mother created Dewey Dell stated, “I had been placed in the kitchen, no one volunteered, mom shaped me for this” (Faulkner 258). By including the term volunteered she is exclaiming how the expectation was present that she would take the position in the kitchen. Addie had been absent for the majority of their lives, however, she helped Dewey Dell in one way, getting helped Dewey Dell fill the stereotype. In contrast, Sethe and Beloved in Beloved were obsessive. Once Beloved rose from the water and Sethe made the connection to the murdered child. Sethe was filled with a burden but also joy and attempted to repay the damages she made. She persisted to do everything in order to make things right, so Beloved would feel the love that may have been misunderstood when her life was removed from the earth. To explain the extent of her passion, she claimed, “I could not bear to happen to her. When I explain it she’ll understand, because she understands everything already. I’ll tend her as no mother ever tended a child, a daughter” (Morrison 100). She explicitly claims that she will do anything to better Beloved’s Life. she would do it to the extent that she will treat her like “no mother has before” (100). Within beloved Sethe did and would do anything for beloved. Whereas in As I Lay Dying Addie only contributed one thing to Dewey Dell, a diminishment of her humanity.
ReplyDeleteSuch relationship sheds light not only on the text but the overall commentary on society during the time. Whilst in Beloved Sethe did everything to better the life of Beloved. Even though ti began with the extent of murdering her, she did it all out of love. Love that would not allow her to go into slavery. This commentary showed the extremity of the racism and segregation during the time as well as the horrors of slavery and its trade. Whereas the commentary from As I Lay Dying is based upon stereotypes. She generates a mold for Dewey Dell as if it is the only way to integrate her into society. That, however, is the only thing she does, because it is a singular way that she can find a place within society. The parental relationships and actions provide a look into society and the issues of the time.
PART 1:
ReplyDeleteIn many stories, there is a relationship regarding a parent and a child and is demonstrated throughout the entirety of timeline of the story. The relationship between a parent and a child is detrimental to the progression of a novel, considering it can hinder or help a character’s journey. Often times, the demonstration of love and care from a parent towards their child will determine their actions towards others in regards to relationships and actions.
In Beloved, the portrayal of a parent and child relationship is seen constantly throughout the novel. The relationships seen between parent and child occur with Sethe and her daughter Beloved, and Baby Suggs with her sons, especially Halle. Morrison writes, “Halle she was able to keep the longest. Twenty years. A lifetime,” in which does not sound quite genuine, yet more selfish (28). Baby Suggs developed this relationship with all of her children, considering the fact that most were taken away from her and she was never given a chance with all of her children to develop the loving and motherly bond that was expected. Therefore, since Halle was hers for the longest amount of time, she had a more greedy and selfish outlook and him being away from her; not that she loved him dearly, but that he was her longest possession, as bad as that sounds.
The more profound relationship in Beloved exists between Sethe with her daughter Beloved. Until the point that Beloved enters the Sethe and Denver’s lives, Sethe displayed a love for her only surviving daughter. When Beloved is taken into their house, Sethe’s love splits and is mainly directed towards Beloved, whom she grows a deep connection with as more is revealed about her character, and Denver is of less concern to Sethe, which is reflected back by the attitudes that can be implied from her actions, like showing more concern for Paul D and Beloved. One of the most impactful examples of their relationship occurs when Morrison writes following the ghostly attack on Sethe at the Clearing, “Why she had taken Denver and Beloved with her didn’t puzzle her now---at the time it seemed impulse, with a vague wish for protection. And the girls had saved her, Beloved so agitated she behaved like a two-year-old,” which shows the dependability Sethe has on her children, a shift from her previous attitudes towards Denver (116). Without Beloved and Denver being in attendance with Sethe, with a greater emphasis on Denver, who saved Sethe from Beloved’s power, Sethe could have possibly died. The relationship of mother and daughter saves her from the grasp of bitterness.
PART 2:
ReplyDeleteIn the novel As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner, one of the parent-child relationships displayed somewhat indirectly, is between Vardaman, the youngest Bundren, and Addie Bundren, his newly-dead mother. Blatantly contrasted from the relationship between Sethe and Beloved, Vardaman and Addie had a very brief and superficial relationship. When Addie died, Vardaman was very young, therefore never making a full connection with his mother, due to the other children in the family. During the early 1900s, a stereotypical mother would stay at home and work with her children in morality and education, depending on the age. At Vardaman’s age, he was starting to develop an intellect, and was somewhat hindered by Addie’s death at such an early time for him. Therefore, since Addie did not have grandiose amounts of time to educate him during his maturing stage, Vardaman was left with a gap in his level of knowledge, which could be from a biological issue, lack of relationship with his mother, or a combination of both. The weak relationship can be implied when Faulkner writes from Vardaman’s perspective, “I can feel where the fish was in the durst. It is cup up into pieces of not-fish now, not-blood on my hands and overalls. … And now she is getting so far ahead I cannot catch her,” where he explains how he is loosing the grip of the fish, which he truly believes is an embodiment of his mother (53). If Vardaman had a better sense of knowledge, which would be greatly influenced by the relationship he could have had with his mother, he would be aware of the reality that his mother was not in fact a fish.
Together, the three relationships represent the impact a parent-child relationship can have on either victim. It is revealed that often, the relationships are controlled by past events or circumstances and biological processes, and can either help or hinder a character in their progression throughout a novel. In both these novels, the parent-child relationships have led to challenging, yet manageable outcomes, for example being reunited with a dead child or burying a mother with little sense of reality.
Parent child relationships help people grow into who they really are and help form relationships when their are older. Throughout the novels, Beloved by Toni Morrison and As I lay Dying by William Faulkner, parent child relationships are present everywhere, relating to almost every character in each story. These relationships helped certain characters to grow and develop as the story goes on and helps them to form relationships of their own. In Beloved, the parent child relationship between Halle and his mother Baby Suggs is a strong bond that makes them care for each other deeply. Halle was the only one of her kids that stayed with her while the others were taken from her. Due to this, Halle cared for his mother and wanted her to be happy, even if her kids taken away from her, so he buys her freedom. Beloved states “When Mr. Garner agreed to the arrangements with Halle, and when Halle looked like it meant more to him that she go free than anything in the world, she let herself be taken ’cross the river” (Morrison 166). This strong bond between Halle and his mother helped him to be a caring person and form good relationships with others. Sethe benefited from their relationship because Halle was a good husband to her and they were able to have a healthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Halle and Baby Suggs, in As I Lay Dying, Addie and Jewel’s relationship was more complicated. Jewel was Addie’s favorite child, but she showed her love in peculiar ways by beating him the most. Addie was obsessed with Jewel and she says that he was the only one of her children that were truly hers. As I Lay Dying states “With Jewel - I lay by the lamp, holding up my own head, watching him cap and suture it before he breathed…” (Faulkner 176). Addie loved Jewel the most out of her children. However, by showing her love in peculiar ways, such as beating him, Addie and Jewel’s bond was not as strong comparatively to Baby Suggs and Halle’s relationship, but Jewel still missed his mother greatly when she passed. Addie’s way of showing affection also caused Jewel to have trouble getting along with others, especially his siblings and Anse, his father. The book states “I am not even touching it when, turning, [Jewel] lets it overshoot him, swinging, and stops it and sloughs it into the wagon bed in the same motion and looks back at me, his face suffused with fury and despair. ‘Goddamn you. Goddamn you” (Faulkner 99). Jewel is the one who is always picking fights with his siblings when he wants something and doesn’t consider their opinions. Addie’s way of showing affection towards him caused him to act like this, which led Jewel into having trouble forming relationships with other people.
The parent child relationships between Baby Suggs and Halle in Beloved and Addie and Jewel in As I Lay Dying show how these influences in the child’s life can affect how they act in the future. For Halle, Baby Suggs was a positive figure in his life, teaching him how to be a good person and develop good relationships with other people. Opposed to this, Addie influenced Jewel in a negative way, only showing him what aggression is rather than care and affection. This led Jewel to have an abrasive personality that made it hard for him to get along with others and form relationships with the people in his life. Whether the parent in a parent child relationship influences the child in a negative or positive way, the effect that the parent has on their children will affect how their child becomes.
PART 1
ReplyDeleteIn a strong parent-child relationship, the distance that separates the parent from the child should not affect their relationship as a whole. In the novels As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner and Beloved by Toni Morrison, the idea of distance is extremely relevant, whether it be physical distance or an ideological distance. In the novel Beloved, the distance that separates mother from child is death, as well as physical distance. Similar to this, in As I Lay Dying, death is what separates a mother from her children, but this distance has a different effect on them. An ideological distance is also relevant in this novel, but it results in a much different relationship. In both of these novels, distance plays a major role in the strength of a parent-child relationship.
In the novel Beloved, there are numerous occasions in which a child is separated from their parents. Throughout Sethe’s life, she is constantly separated from the people whom she cares about the most. After finally gaining the courage to fight for the life her family deserves, Sethe sends her kids away from Sweet Home and soon follows while being pregnant with Denver. According to Denver, who recalled the story many years later, Sethe had sent her “...brothers and...the baby girl. She sent them on before to wait for her at Grandma Baby’s. So she had to put up with everything to get there” (Morrison 91). Making her children’s safety her number one priority, Sethe took the risk of sending her children to Baby Sugg’s house because she dreamed of them, and herself, living a life according to their own freedom. Sethe fought for her children during her journey up North, proclaiming that she just needed to get milk to her baby. Finally making it to her children, where Sethe “...had milk enough for all,” it wasn’t long before they were separated again (Morrison 119). Following the horrifying events that resulted in the death of her baby, “...Howard and Bulgar, had run away…” leaving Sethe alone with only one child (Morrison 3). Although Sethe still had Denver, there would forever be a distance that separated her from her sons and her baby girl. The distance that separated Sethe from her baby girl was that of life and death. This distance, along with the idea that Sethe would never get to see her baby again, is what brought a lot of discomfort and unhappiness to Sethe’s life. It wasn’t until Sethe met the reincarnated version of her daughter, Beloved, that she found relief as a mother. Sethe was finally able to be a mother and role model to the child that she killed (and was consumed of guilt because of). Distance is also seen in the novel by the separation of Baby Suggs and Halle. According to the novel, Halle was “Baby Suggs’ eighth and last child, who rented himself out all over the county to buy her away from there” (Morrison 27). Halle loved his mother so much, that he was willing to work continuously in order to buy her freedom, which only resulted in them being separated more. In both these examples, the distance between parent and child mean nothing if the love between them is strong.
PART 2
ReplyDeleteSimilar to in Beloved, death separates mother and child in the novel As I Lay Dying. The novel centers around the death of Addie Bundren, and the steps her family must take in order to lay her down peacefully in her hometown. The death of Addie and the distance that it entails affects each of her children in a different way. Although it may not seem like Addie’s death is the real reason behind the Bundren’s voyage to Jefferson, readers are able to see glimpses of how her death affects the lives of her children. Most notably, her death has a lasting effect on Darl. Although Addie and Darl do not seem to have a very strong relationship when Addie is alive, it is after Addie’s death when their relationship truly blossoms. The text states “It was Darl. He come to the door and stood there, looking at his dying mother. He just looked at her, and I felt the bounteous love of the Lord again and His mercy. I saw that with Jewel she had just been pretending, but that it was between her and Darl that the understanding and the true love was” (Faulkner 24). The love that Darl had for his mother was constant throughout the rest of the novel. Darl loved his mother so tremendously that he burnt down the barn in order to end her suffering. This is similar to the love that is displayed between Sethe and her children. No matter the distance that separates them, even if it is death, love still remains and will continue to remain as long as there is the memory of their relationship. However, different from in Beloved, there is an ideological difference that separates parent from child in As I Lay Dying. Anse, the father in the novel, greatly differs in values from his children. Anse is a very unmotivated man that does not work very hard to live a better lifestyle. In contrast to this, his children work very hard in order to support their family. For example, when making his mother’s coffin, “Cash labors about the trestles, moving back and forth, lifting and placing the planks with long clattering reverberations in the dead air as though he were lifting and dropping them…” (Faulkner 76). The contrast between Anse and his children, and the separation that entails, is what makes their relationships not very strong. This goes to show that even if there is little physical distance between a parent and their child, an ideological distance is what can truly separate them.
Both Toni Morrison and William Faulkner use distance as a factor in parent-child relationships in their novels. They both show that if there is love in a relationship, the distance that separates them will not be important. However, an ideological distance is what will lead to a weak parent-child relationship. The love between a parent and their child is what motivates them to withstand that distance and feel as if they are close even if they are thousands of miles apart.
There are tons of bad parents in the world alone, and arguably more bad parents that can be found in literature. But what makes them bad? Is it neglect? Is it their inability to to create bonds with them? Is it selfishness? Parental figures in novels such as William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying are obviously not individuals to look to for inspiration or as a role model. Anse’s deliberate deceit and neglect of his children is evidence enough to denounce him as incapable and unfit to lead a family. However, in stories such as Toni Morrison’s Beloved the neglect is not simply one sided. Sethe’s inability to help Denver understand her emotions is a result of her own stunted growth.
ReplyDeleteAnse wants new teeth. He mentions teeth multiple times throughout the Bundren family road trip to ‘bury’ Addie. Anse thinks that, “‘He aimed for man to eat to keep his strength up, and me saving a nickel here and a nickel there so my family wouldn’t suffer it, to buy them teeth so I could eat God’s appointed food’” (Faulkner 191). Throughout the duration of the whole story, Anse makes himself a martyr through attempting to make the rest of the family feel sympathetic to his situations. When Cash breaks his leg, when Dewey Dell goes into the store, etc. Anse uses his fatherly position to take things from the other characters. Anse expresses this very selfishness and entitlement when he says, “‘I give that money I thought that if I could do without eating, my sons could do without riding. God knows I did’” (Faulkner 191). Anse’s poor parenting technique is a direct result of his misguided morals and goals.
Sethe is a troubled woman. She may have escaped what she refers to as the ‘Sweet Home’, she realizes that she will never be able to escape the memories of her past. Her intentional murder of her daughter, Beloved, prevents Sethe from being able to accept what happened before she made 124 her permanent home. At one point it is even stated that, “It was as though Sethe didn’t really want forgiveness given; she wanted it refused” (Morrison 297). This refusal to overcome her past causes Sethe to become oblivious to her other daughter, Denver’s, struggles in their present day lives. While Sethe does not intend to neglect Denver, the isolation that the girl feels is a direct result of Sethe’s inability to cope with her memories. When Sethe says, “‘I don’t go inside’” (Morrison 55), it is a reference to her attempts to block out past events. However, this effort not only fails to suppress her insecurities, but it also inhibits her ability to identify and understand her emotions. This leads to the overall emotional neglect of Denver.
Anse and Sethe are two completely different types of people. Anse is a perpetual liar and a man that continually exhibits selfishness. Sethe is a woman that continually struggles to overcome traumatic events of the past. Although they are very opposite individuals, both individuals are incapable of raising children in a nurturing environment as a result of their lack of mental or emotional health. Anse’s refusal to work towards being a better person and Sethe’s inability to leave her emotional baggage behind prevents these two separate people from being ‘good’ parents.
In “As I Lay Dying” by William Faulkner, the relationship between Darl and his mother, Addie, is a very tense one. Darl struggles to seek approval from his mother. Faulkner explains through Dewey Dell,
ReplyDelete"She is going to die," he says. And old turkey-buzzard Tull coming to watch her die but I can fool them.
"When is she going to die?" I say.
"Before we get back," he says.
"Then why are you taking Jewel?" I say.
"I want him to help me load," he says. (7.6-10)
This quote displays the jealousy Darl holds against Jewel for being his mother’s favorite. As she is on her deathbed, he tries to deprive her of her “gem.” He resents Jewel and his mother for having a relationship with one another. He years for the approval of his mother, but he is never fulfilled because of his mother’s inability to see motherhood as anything but a useless role that she does not want to conform to.
In “Beloved” by Toni Morrison, Denver and Sethe struggle to form a meaningful connection because Sethe is burdened by the pain of losing Beloved. Denver feels ignored and rejected because her mother refuses to share anything meaningful about the past with her except the story of her birth. Denver’s story, unlike Beloved’s and her mother’s, begins at her birth despite her roots being planted in the past. These roots never see the light and are deprived of water, so they wilt and die off. Morrison explains, “But it was gone now. Whooshed away in the blast of a hazelnut man’s shout, leaving Denver’s world flat, mostly, with the exception of an emerald closet standing seven feet high in the woods. Her mother has secrets-things she wouldn’t tell; things she halfway told. Well, Denver had them too” (45). These two have a connection that will bend to the point of breaking because Beloved and Sethe’s past limited Sethe’s ability to form relationships. She struggles to see the future as hopeful due to her muddy past.
These two mothers are comparable to each other as are their children. Both children struggle to view their mothers as someone they can form a relationship with. Their mothers also struggle because they come from a difficult past. However, Sethe differs from Addie in the fact that Sethe puts her role as a mother as her first job in life. She escaped for her family, but Addie wanted to burden her family by burying her in Jefferson. Sethe may struggle to share memories with Denver, but she truly values and loves her daughter. Addie never knew love and never gave it. She lived an unfulfilling life that was truly a preparation for death. We see two women that struggle to support their children, but Sethe proves to be a better mother. She loves her family, and it starts with Halle. Morrison explains, “Halle was more like a brother than a husband. His care suggested a family relationship rather than a man’s laying claim” (30-31). Anse treated Addie as his “claim,” which proves that she never knew love with her husband who then gave her children. She is unable to love the children because she has no connection with her father. This is not universal, but it proves the importance of a partner and their role in parenthood. The load becomes lighter when parents are raising children with someone they love or came from someone they loved. Connections are crucial to seeing the power in love and happiness. We are nothing but a human until we give our heart, a part of our story to someone we care about.
Throughout the literary canon, each story may seem to dominated by a single relationship. However, the interactions between more “minor” characters oftentimes reveal even more crucial or intimate details about the plotline as a whole. In the case of Toni Morrison’s Beloved, the relationship that takes “center stage” is that between Sethe and her seemingly-resurrected daughter whom she murdered as an infant, Beloved. However, the parent-child relationships between Baby Suggs and her children (including Sethe’s husband, Halle) reveal a unique attitude of loving from a distance, but loving nonetheless. In a very different novel, Crime and Punishment’s Raskolnikov shares a special relationship with his mother that is characterized by unconditional love and cruelty. Where both of these relationships demonstrate a mixture of warm love and cold-heartedness, the difference lies in Raskolnikov’s eventual decision to show his love for his mother.
ReplyDeleteBaby Suggs is perhaps the most matronly figure in all of Beloved, being not only a mother to her own children but a mother of sorts to an entire community of ex-slaves. When she arrives at 124 Bluestone, Baby Suggs anoints herself a preacher, telling her fellow black friends that, “And all your inside parts that they’d just as soon slop for hogs, you got to love them. The dark, dark liver—love it, love it, and the beat and beating heart, love that too. More than eyes or feet. More than lungs that have yet to draw free air. More than your life-holding womb and your lifegiving private parts, hear me now, love your heart. For this is the prize” (Morrison). She is a caretaker for the entire community, feeding mouths and souls. Despite this motherly adoration that the entire community holds for Baby Suggs, she is surprisingly distant from her own children. She retains only snippets of memories about each of her babies, saying, “My first-born. All I can remember of her is how she loved the burned bottom of bread. Can you beat that? Eight children and that’s all I remember” (Morrison). In this way, Baby Suggs is able to still love her children, but without experiencing the personal pain that it would inflict upon her to truly remember them. Because Baby Suggs lost her children to the slave trade, she will not allow herself to find them through more than insignificant memories. This relationship is later fleshed out by Sethe as she forgets everything about Howard and Buglar except for their boyish faces, and the merits of loving from a distance is shown when Sethe’s “too thick” love leaves Beloved dead.
I realized after publishing that I did not go back in and add the page numbers to my Morrison citations! These quotes come from pages 104 and 6 respectively.
DeleteOn the other hand, Pulcheria Alexandrovna loves Raskolnikov unconditionally, always desiring to be close to her son. In her letter to Raskolnikov, which appears at the very outset of Crime and Punishment, she says to him, “I embrace you tightly, tightly, and I kiss you, kisses without number” (Dostoevsky 38). Her motherly love is immediately apparent in this way. Even as she is given the coldest shoulder by her own son, she still grieves him to her daughter. She cries, “How could I have consented to leave Rodia alone! That wasn’t at all, not at all, the way I imagined I’d find him! How hard he was, as if he were not even glad to see us…” (Dostoevsky 196). Throughout all of Raskolnikov’s cruel behavior, throughout his time away from, throughout his utter mistreatment of the only family that he has, Pulcheria still loves him fiercely. She falls ill when he is away, and she never stops singing his praises. He may have been a murderer, but he was still her son. Finally, at the end of the novel, Raskolnikov embraces this constantly-loving woman in his life, and “he was glad nobody was there and he was alone with his mother. It seemed as if after all that terrible time his heart had softened at once” (Dostoevsky 491). In this way, Raskolnikov shows that he still loved his mother, too.
ReplyDeleteBoth the relationship between Baby Suggs and her children and the relationship between Raskolnikov and his mother affect all other relationships in their respective novels. Baby Suggs is the closest thing Sethe has to a mother, and thanks to her Sethe learns that the only safe thing she can do is love her children from a distance. Raskolnikov may have dedicated his life to proving an immoral theory, but at the end of the day his devoting of himself to Sonia in the same way that Pulcheria devoted herself to him is what “resurrects” him from his state of despair. As they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and in the cases of Raskolnikov and Sethe, their parental relationships shaped how they interacted with all other characters in their stories.
Parenting is one of the most difficult universal languages to understand. Every person has their own parenting style and there are no set rules on how to raise children. Mistakes will be made and judgment will be cast but it simply cannot be avoided when becoming a parent. Although, the relationship between parent and child is an unbreakable bond. In the novel Beloved by Toni Morrison, Sethe and Beloved have a toxic mother-child relationship which is similar to the relationship Darl has with his mother Addie in William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying. Even with these characters being placed in different time periods it exemplifies the everlasting nature of family love and disaster it can cause.
ReplyDeleteBeloved and Sethe are an interesting pair, the reader does not get too much initially out of their relationship, but it provides context on Sethe’s parenting style. Sethe does the unthinkable and kills her oldest daughter Beloved, which is reasonably seen as insane, although she has her reasons. When confronted with why she took the very life she gave she says,” If I hadn't killed her she would have died and that is something I could not bear to happen to her” (Morrison 100). On the surface it does not make sense, but the death Sethe is referencing is returning to the life of slavery which she did not want for any of her children after working so hard to escape. Sethe loved her children so much she willingly wanted to spill their blood by her own hands so they could be truly free. The only issue with her actions is that they are truly insane. The same can be said about Darl’s actions towards Addie. He decides to burn the barn down in an effort to cleanse Addie’s soul and put her body to rest. When he is caught doing so Darl catches his brother’s attention, “He pauses at the coffin, stooping, looking at me, his face furious. Overhead the flames sound like thunder; across us rushes a cool draught: there is no heat in it at all yet” (Faulkner 133). Darl remains calm and collected while his siblings become stricken with anger when they realize Darl has attempted to burn his mother’s casket. They end up deeming him insane and sending him away to a mental institution without understanding the reason he did such a horrible thing. Darl had such an intense love for his mother he no longer wanted to take her on a selfish journey and set her free spiritually to make things right with her, but it backfires. The only thing these two parent relationships teach is people will do crazy things for love. It may not make sense to anyone else and that is okay because it is the way these characters show love in their parent-child relationship. Granted, the things they do are crazy though in their own messed up ways are justifiable.
When comparing the style and attitude taken towards parenting Addie Bundren and Sethe could not be more different. According to Sethe “Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all” (Morrison 194). Even when slavery stole away her freedom, pride, and piece of mind Sethe persevered until she got herself and her children to freedom. Once they were free she was willing to do and sacrifice anything, even her children's own lives, in order to keep them from living a life in chains. Unfortunately, this ‘thick love’ created a rift between Sethe and everyone else around her, including her children. After she killed her daughter Beloved her sons were terrified of her and her daughter Denver lived in fear that Sethe would hurt her as well. Eventually, the sons ran away and even though Denver stayed, she did not trust Sethe “I love my mother but I know she killed one of her own daughters, and as tender as she is with me, I’m scared of her because of it” (Morrison 242). This ‘thick love’ attitude is completely absent in Addie’s parenting as she claims love “... was just like the other[words]: a shape to fill a lack” (Faulkner 172). Addie also mentions at one point that she “did not ask for [her children]” (Faulkner 174). Ironically, Sethe’s thick love pushed her children further away than Addie’s all around lack of it. Although the Bundren’s are at various points throughout the novel shown to be emotionally (and even physically in Jewel’s case) distant from one another unlike Sethe’s two sons, they all stay together even after Addie’s death.
ReplyDeleteThrough these two relationships, an interesting point about parental love is brought up. Sethe had always seen her ability to love as a freedom constantly being restricted by the people trying to enslave her. As Paul D said “... to get to a place where you could love anything you choose--not to need permission for desire--well, now, that was freedom” (Morrison 191). Addie on the other hand, viewed love as an obligation to God and Anse as Cora Tull had told her, “She would tell me what I owed to my children and to Anse and to God. I gave Anse the children… I did not even ask him for what he could have given to be… That was my duty to him… a duty I fulfilled” (Faulkner 174). These views on love affected not only how Sethe and Addie went about parenting, but how their children turned out later in life. While both children had significant emotional rifts between themselves and their parents, Sethe’s children were more free in the long run. Her sons might have left but were ultimately free to do so. Denver made a conscious choice to stay with her mother and even help her when Beloved began to take over the house. Addie’s children, on the other hand, all were trapped at various times throughout the novel: Dewey Dell in an unwanted pregnancy, Darl at the end when he’s taken away, Jewel by his obligation to his mother that leads him to sacrifice his horse, Cash by his broken leg, and Vardaman was stuck going along with his family because of his young age. The parental view of love as freeing or restricting has a profound impact on the children throughout each of these books as their own approach to freedom seemed to mirror that of their mothers'.
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ReplyDeleteThe goal of parents is to teach their children how to act, how to fit into society and the world. In doing this, they form a close bond with their child, creating a unique bond. These bonds (or attempts at creating them) can be seen in both Hamlet with Polonius and Ophelia and Beloved with Sethe and Beloved.
ReplyDeleteBoth Sethe and Polonius want the best for their child and try to guide them done the successful path, so to say. For example, when Ophelia is explaining to her father that she believes Hamlet may have feelings for her, he scoffs, saying “Affection, puh! You speak like a green girl
/Unsifted in such perilous circumstance” (1.3.101-102). Polonius does speak like this to insult his daughter but rather to guide her. As someone “experienced” in the politics of the real world, he wants his daughter to not be taken advantage of. A similar event can be seen in Beloved. Sethe believes Beloved to be her long-dead child she killed. As such, she tries to make up for all the lost time by “[playing] all the harder with Beloved, who never got enough of anything: lullabies, new stitches, the bottom of the cake bowl, the top of the milk” (276). Sethe, like Polonius, wants her daughter to live a happy life. However, her past sins give her sense that she must do something to make up for them, a feeling that Polonius lacks.
More key differences between the two relationships include how leeches off of whom. For example, despite telling his daughter to not allow herself to be manipulated, manipulates her in order to increase his own social standing. By guiding her in her relations with Hamlet, Polonius believes he can acquire more power. To him, Ophelia is merely a pawn. Conversely, the leech in Beloved is the child. Beloved is never satisfied, leading to Sethe down a road of poor choices. She is a parasite; she does not care what happens to her mother, only that she gets more. Sethe, with an overwhelming sense of guilt, gladly plays the role of the leeched.
By comparing these two relationships, it is clear that neither one is healthy. It teaches the reader and audience that the healthy and correct method is a balanced method.
Parenting is a very important part to the development of a person. It helps to mold someone emotionally and prepare them for life. However, the positive effects of parenting can be very easily inhibited by pre-existing thoughts and actions by a parent. These predispositions, though may have been conceived to benefit the family, can cause the future child to receive less treatment and force the child to confront their personal issues alone.
ReplyDeleteThe first toxic parent-child relationship to note is seen through Sethe and Denver in Toni Morrison’s Beloved. While living a rough life, due to slavery, prior to Denver’s birth, Sethe was doing what she could to put the life behind her so she could focus on her children and help them to live the life that she could not. However, when schoolteacher tracked Sethe down and wanted to take her back to Sweet Home, she was forced to make a tough decision, as later saying, “‘I don’t have to tell you about Sweet Home--what it was--but maybe you don’t know what it was like for me to get away from there’” (Morrison 161). Sethe killed her youngest daughter, Beloved, in order to save her from the trauma that her mother endured. This was done at the time to benefit her daughter, but she felt very guilty later on after seeing Beloved again years later. This caused Sethe to favor Beloved over her other daughter, Denver, during the events at 124 because she wanted to make up for her previous wrongdoings. Therefore, Denver was left to find herself outside of 124. This lead to Denver becoming a more mature individual without the help of her mother. Though the child, Denver, can succeed without parental involvement it is not usually the case. The contrast to Denver is Vardaman and Dewey-Dell from William Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying. Vardaman and Dewey Dell were the last two children of Addie. In this situation, one would believe that the stereotype about the the youngest child or children would be true: they get the most treatment from their mother. Instead the opposite happens, due to previous actions made by Addie. She was constantly unexcited about her relationship with her husband Anse, as the marriage and family was literally born out of the need for laborers rather than the need for children to love. This lead Addie to have an affair with a minister, which resulted in her third son, Jewel. Despite expressing exhilaration for her rebellion from the marriage, she still felt regret and decided to have more children with Anse, explaining that “I gave Anse Dewey Dell to negative Jewel. Then I gave him Vardaman to replace the child I had robbed him of. And now he has three children that are his and not mine” (Faulkner 176). Addie had no care for Dewey Dell and Vardaman as they were considered compensation to her rather than children. This lead to the two children receiving minimal care from their mother, which stunted their intellectual growth in the future. Even before Addie died, Dewey Dell did not have a mother figure to advise her, so she unintentionally got pregnant and was left to continue searching for a way to get an abortion, but found none and would have to raise the child herself. Meanwhile, Vardaman, though her received little care from Addie, cared much for his mother and did not take her death well. As a result, he constantly tried to find ways to convince himself that he did not lose a person important to him, comparing Addie multiple times to a fish. Unfortunately, as Vardaman did not receive the proper care in development, he was likely traumatized and left mentally troubled for the rest of his life. These two parent-child relationships help to reveal the fact that if parents focus on short term solutions to family issues, the long-term repercussions will put an overwhelming amount of pressure on the children. This pressure will force the to children to confront issues that, while they may succeed or fail against, will change their lives forever.